In Loving Memory
Debora Starr Kins
November 9, 1952 – January 8, 2024
Virtual Memorial Gathering
Saturday, March 23, 2023
2:00 PM Eastern
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Debora Starr Kins Obituary
Debora Starr Kins was born on November 9th, 1952 in Westchester county, New York and died peacefully of natural causes at her home in Sag Harbor, New York on the morning of January 8th, 2024 surrounded by her beloved coterie of cats. She is survived by her younger sister Victoria Kins, her mother Gloria Starr Kins, and her husband Willie Thomas whom she married in May of 1996.
Debi lived her young life in Larchmont, New York and Manhattan and later lived in Santa Monica, California and Southampton, New York. She attended the Tutoring School of New York and then graduated from Emerson College where she made many lifelong friends and performed in a number of theatrical and musical productions, most notably “No No Nanette.” She had a beautiful singing voice and was a gifted performer – after her marriage she performed at a soiree of Cole Porter songs accompanied by Cole Porter’s biographer William McBrien on piano.
Because of her heartfelt desire to help other people, Debi went to Fordham University in her 40’s to get her Masters degree and become a Social Worker – she became a case worker for the Town of East Hampton and helped literally hundreds of disadvantaged people in her career including the elderly, the disabled, and families from the Latino community.
She travelled the world throughout her life before and after her marriage and visited many countries including France, Italy, Switzerland, Jamaica, Colombia, The Soviet Union, Spain, Mexico and many others. She made friends in all of these countries and was beloved and treasured by all of them.
She had a kind of deep instinctive emotional intelligence that allowed her throughout her life to do what she enjoyed most: bringing other people together and finding connections that they might not even be aware of. She spoke several languages including Spanish and French and used these to communicate on a real level with people from other countries. She had a clique of friends and family that she would call every day and would always be there to listen to them. In her later years she went almost daily to have lunch and go on trips with a large group of her friends at the senior nutrition center in East Hampton and she knew the life story of every person there.
Debi lived by certain steadfast principles, which she exhibited every day of her life:
● Always see the good in others
● Never be cruel to any other living being
● When you make a friend, they are your friend for life
● Always sing your favorite songs and listen to your favorite music
● Laugh as much as you possibly can
● Show those you love that you love them every day
● Practice random acts of kindness
● And, most of all, always love and care for your pets and other animals
She will be sorely missed by all her loved ones and friends. We all wish her a tranquil final voyage to that undiscovered country, from who’s bourne no traveller ever returns. Her light will always shine for us in the darkness and guide us home.
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I have “attended” this memorial the day after by recording. All your thoughts were so moving because of the sincerity of these reminiscences and the affection we all shared for Debi. She was a uniquely happy, caring and beautiful friend. My sincere condolences to Willie and Gloria Kins.
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I was lucky enough to have known Debbie, her strength in the face of everything she went through was inspiring and at the same time created a sadness in me. Such a beautiful person should not have had to endure such pain. She is loved and will be missed.
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I met Debi in the late 1980’s when I moved to Sag Harbor, and then met her when she worked at the Hampton Jitney. we also both belonged to a group of local women in The Hamptons Clothes Swap–where we ate, drank, laughed, and ran around trying on each others clothes, from a huge pile dumped on the floor. Everyone went home with some great finds, and we donated the rest to charities. Debi and I also loved to swim, and often went to the beaches. At the time, we were both single, and when she first met Willie, when he worked at Agway in Bridgehampton, I encouraged her to go out with him.
So she did, and the rest is history. They made each other happy. And also all their cats. I always enjoyed Debi’s bubbly energy, love of life and people, and her warm, caring heart. I will truly miss her friendship. My sincere condolences to Willie and Gloria Kins.
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Debi, my soul sister, I am missing you already. But I shall remember the good times we spent together. Peace be with you.
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Our heart goes out to you for the loss of your daughter. We. hope your happy memories will help you through this difficult time. Our family will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers.
Jude and Pascale
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The smile on your face , the words of wisdom, the happiness you made people feel. PRICELESS ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Debi was my dear friend Vici’s older sister. Which meant she was instantly my friend too. As teenagers we spent many a Saturday watching old movies in her bedroom.. She was so full of joy and goodness. And had the most infectious laugh I’d ever heard. My heart breaks for Vici and the rest of Debi’s family and friends. What a uniquely special human. 💔
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Beautiful obit describes memories of Debi so well. I feel fortunate to have known her and will miss her. Live and prayers to all of her friends and family.
Sophie
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Debi will forever be in my heart. Debi is gone but she will never be forgotten. Her love for everyone will forever shine in the stars. I am blessed to have known Debi with such a beautiful spirit.
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Lovely obit well deserved. I never got to know Debi beyond a few visits to the house in Sag Harbor, but her radiant smile and genuine sweetness stayed with me. For all the goodness she brought to folks in her work, I am grateful too that she came into my dear friend Willie’s life and spread sunshine into their home.
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What a nice obituary. Debi was truly such a bright light and brought love and dedication to everything she did and everyone she met. She was a joy to be around and I felt like a better person just having been in her presence. She will be missed.
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One of the purest person I ever met. A true gentle woman. She will be missed..
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RIP Debbie…such a beautiful soul. So glad to have met and spend time with you and Willie! Thankful for liking my cooking and being always so kind and excited about life! xoxo Natalia…
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We are so honored that we could say we were on the frequent call list. Checking in. and our observations of our day. Sometimes love puts us between a rock and a hard spot, but it is worth it because it keeps our heart soft. How many years did Debi keep our hearts soft,not to mention laughing right out loud. Holding all of you close in our hearts. We are so sorry and grateful at the same time.
Gail and Francis Schiavoni
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I knew Debbie first from camp in Vermont but then the family moved a few blocks away and I saw Debbie whenever I was visiting Debbie. She was always kind, funny, loving and a most welcoming hostess when visiting her in east Hampton. Debbie was one of a kind that has always had a soft spot in my childhood and younger adult memories. Although we’d spoken on the phone a few times recently, of course I now regret not making another effort to get together. She will be remembered as the sweetest ever.
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I met Debi in NY in 1984 at a party organized by her mother. We had an instant connection. I am a Scorpio, and she was born on the same day as my father. Everyone I’ve met born on that day has always been fabulous and Debi was no exception.
I moved back to California in 1985 and rarely returned to New York. The last time I saw her was in 2007 and we went to a wonderful exhibit at the Whitney.
I wish I would’ve been able to see her more over the years, but we each lived in coastal communities on opposite sides of the country.
One always wishes that there would have been more time and we are ill prepared when someone we love leaves us too soon.
Debi, I’m sure that there are many places to discover in heaven and many people to connect with.
I will miss you! I wish I would’ve had more time with you. But what counts, is that you were surrounded by loved ones and many people love you.
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I am so saddened and sorry I missed finding out about Debi’s passing. I have the most wonderful childhood memories growing up with such a sweet soul. She really was funny and perceptive and the world has lost a very good person.
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Debora was a remarkable individual, warm, caring, and always upbeat regardless of the circumstances. Truly one of the most positive individuals I have encountered. Those of us who cared for her at Stony Brook were saddened to learn of her passing. She will be remembered fondly. Our sincerest condolences to the family.
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I attended Emerson with Debbie, and we became friends through her roommate Robin Edinger. Although we lost contact, I will always remember her with love. She was a dear person. I am so sorry to hear of her passing, and sorry I no longer have Robin to commiserate with for our mutual loss. Condolences to all who loved her.
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We were first cousins. Two of a kind. Thats what she was meant to be literally “ a kind kin”. She was so poised and lovable. I may not have physically seen her in a very long time but her personality and laughter used to make our phone calls filled with joy and laughter because she was my FFF “furry friend forever” and she never complained how terrible my voice was when we sang the theme song from the Patti Duke show. Dear Debi this cousin will miss you
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Beautiful obituary. To family and friends, carry and spread her love, her happiness, and her life lessons to make this world wonderful.
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Debi was such a bright light. She became close friends with my mother Joan and she brought her much comfort, laughter and joy. May they be together at peace… and likely giggling and singing showtoons.
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Debi introduced me to my wife Mary while all of us were students at Emerson. I am eternally grateful to her for that and will always cherish our friendship. She was an extraordinary, beautiful, kind human being.
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Debi & I met in high school at the New York Tutoring School. We lost contact after she graduated college.
We reconnected in 2022 & were planning to meet up in NYC , when she unexpectedly passed away .
Debi always had a special place in my heart & always will .
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lovely obit for Debi
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Dear Debi,
You gave us your laughter. Now you can light up the heavens with it!
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Love Deboriah ❤️
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Dearest Debi,
You were an angel on earth, you’re now an angel in heaven.
Love always and forever,
Richard.