In Loving Memory of
Ann McCleary
June 18, 1930 – December 4, 2020
Virtual Memorial Gathering was held December 26, 2020 at 10:00 AM PST / 1:00 PM EST
Ann Burridge McCleary, a 40-year resident of Grosse Pointe Farms, died Friday, Dec. 4, 2020. She was 90.
A former social worker, Ann never failed to write a thank-you note or note of encouragement, bring dinner, visit the sick or comfort a friend, and she never lost her sense of wonder and joy.
She was active in the League of Women Voters, Detroit Historical Society and many other community organizations. In the 1970s, she founded CHOICES and taught assertiveness training to women and men in all walks of life. She also volunteered with hospice.
Ann grew up in Hinsdale, Ill., the youngest of four children — and only daughter — of Janet and Howard Burridge. Her parents were deeply devoted to each other and their children; Ann had many happy memories of the house on Lincoln Avenue, marred only by occasional pangs when one of her older brothers would whine, “Oh, do we have to bring her?” when their mother asked the boys to watch out for her. She shared a close relationship with her brothers and their children.
Psychedelic guru Timothy Leary wooed Ann during a transatlantic crossing when she was 18; the romance ended when the ship landed and before Leary began to “turn on, tune in and drop out.” Ann attended Goucher College in Maryland, graduating with a Bachelor of Arts degree in 1952. Post-college she worked in adoption placement and child welfare as a social worker, before meeting and marrying Thomas R. McCleary Jr. They met at a ski club meeting in Cincinnati, although neither of them ever skied. Ann was dating the president of the ski club and Tom came to the meeting with his housemates who promised there would be girls and beer. While the president ran the meeting, Tom chatted up Ann. They were married April 19, 1958. Their marriage lasted 53 years, until Tom’s death in 2011.
Ann approached her life after Tom’s death with courage and determination, moving to Falls Church, Va., in 2012, to be near her daughter. There she ran classes in the Great Courses at the local community center, took courses in drama from a retired Yale professor in Arlington, participated in the League of Women Voters and book clubs, and volunteered to practice English with non-native English speakers. She founded a social network of single, older women in her condo building who met twice a month for friendship and conversation. She voted in every election, including 2020.
Ann had a wonderful eye for design, color and harmony; her house was always a place where everyone felt at home, filled with the small treasures she had collected on trips — a bronze sculpture of a sleeping fawn she found in San Francisco, framed paintings on papyrus she picked up in Egypt, a miniature lacquer box from Russia. The dinners she and Tom hosted for family and friends were always filled with good, simple food, good Scotch, great conversation and much laughter.
A lifelong reader, Ann devoured books, magazines and newspapers until the end of her life. Willa Cather and W.H. Hudson were favorite authors and she returned to “My Antonia” again and again. She taught her daughter, Kathy, to read when Kathy was just 4, instilling that same passion for literature — something Ann’s granddaughters inherited as well.
One of Ann’s greatest gifts was the ability to make whoever she was with feel interesting, worthwhile and cared for. She was a terrific listener and laughed often.
Her quiet, warm spirit touched all who knew her, but that spirit lives on in her children and grandchildren. She is survived by her son, Tom (Jill) of Oakland, Calif., and daughter, Kathleen (Paul Benninghoff) of Falls Church, Va., as well as granddaughters, Grace and Emma Benninghoff and Meredith and Ally McCleary.
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Ann was a treasure. I loved my visits with her in Berea and VA. She welcomed me with open arms and showed genuine interest in every topic. I will never forget her intellect, generosity, wit, and warm laugh.
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Your mom was, as you know like a second mother to me, but always nice. She made the lives of everyone she knew better with enthusiasm and encouragement. She lived a wonderful life.
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Ann was such a kind and welcoming person, and I knew this even when I was a small child. She would say, "Tell me about that fish you caught" and I’d go on an on telling her every detail and she would stay interested til the end. I have so many memories of her laughing that special expressive laugh of hers.
She was a really nice person and it’s too bad she had to go.
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My mother, Crit Leibbrand, adored your mother and enjoyed visiting and playing tennis with her. A beautifully personal tribute about your mom was written. My wife and I were honored to have both your parents at our wedding and at our house in Washington, DC in 1990. With love and knowledge her family and all of us will keep her wonderful spirit alive, Keith, Todd and Jane Leibbrand
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Ann was always a straight shooter, but in a very tactful and inoffensive way. She was kind hearted and always payed attention to what I had to say. She was well read, informed on current affairs and always a pleasure to converse with. She also had a great sense of humor and didn’t hesitate to laugh out loud.
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I will forever miss Ann for her really strong listening skills. Throughout my interactions during my life, the one standout consistently as I look back-was how much she focused on really listening to what others had to say.
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Ann had a beautiful soul. She valued her family and friends beyond measure. I cherish the time I was privileged to share with her as a friend and helpmate during the last three years of her life. I will always remember Ann for the good times we shared and for the honorable person she was.
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I visited Ann many times when I made it to the D. C. area and was a guest in her condo until last year. (I’m one of the 7 grandchildren of Vera Burridge Baits.) As others have noted, it was always a delight to spend time with her. I’ll miss her, and I will try to follow her example for the rest of my days.
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Ann was sure one of a kind —- emphasis on "kind"! She had spark and spunk – and always a smile and insights to share. She will be missed by many – but, we will always remember her fondly – especially as we celebrate the holidays. I may not share her love of a good scotch – but, a Kentucky Bourbon will be sipped in her honor.
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Ann was a delightful client of Lifematters. Reading her stories after our Friendly Visitors visited with Ann, made me smile and sometimes even burst out laughing! She had a great sense of humor and was very thoughtful. She is greatly missed.
Ada Horsfall (Lifematters)
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Tom and Kathy are wonderful testaments to the excellent mother, kind and strong individual, interesting and interested person that Ann was. While my interactions with Ann weren’t as plentiful as I would have liked, they were always warm, generous and loving — traits she shared with her kids.
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Many fond memories from Wakeman Road, Circle Road, New York City, Grosse Point, Lake Paradox, Ida Wild, Dog Team, Middlebury, and a lot more.
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As the parents of her daughter-in-law, Bebe and I got to know Ann during the time leading up to the marriage of Tom and Jill. Spending time with her was always an enjoyable experience. She was interesting and interested in us. There was usually a lot of laughter during these interactions and time for sharing. We so appreciated her openly warm relationship with Jill and, in turn, with us. Ann was a lovely, gracious lady.
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We enjoyed visits with Ann when she came to Portland or when we visited Virginia. She was always a friendly lady and a cheerful soul. We send our condolences to the Kathy, Paul, Emma and Grace.
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There are so many wonderful things I could say about Ann, but what is most important to me is the special relationship we shared. So many visits, trips, reunions and long phone calls. I will miss sitting in her living room watching old movies and talking about everything from books to current events to the state of our family. Like her mother, she was a grand lady.